im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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