My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
