I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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