Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
