wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
