my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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