Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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