We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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