Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
