We're like a lot better than the average bears
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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