I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
