I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
