True but thats because hes a fetus.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
