You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
