What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
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My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
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Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize