all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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