My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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