Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
