oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
