living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
