I wanna bring you to show and tell
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
