If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
