why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
