she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
