im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize