I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
