I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
