im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
