I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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