Nicole vs. Life
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
