STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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