Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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