I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Randomize
