I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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