Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
