Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
