You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
