I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
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