Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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