he was CRYING into my vagina
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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