What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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