as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
