This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Randomize
