we have pet lesbian snakes
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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