wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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