the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
