What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
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I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
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I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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