Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
