My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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