Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
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We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
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While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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