Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
