I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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