There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
