Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
