loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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