So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
