It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
