I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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