it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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