Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize