I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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